I'm going to take you back....way back. 1993. The year I fell in love. Sappy? Yes. Cheesy? Fuck yes. Do I care? Nope.
I was a 12 year old little girl who thought she knew everything she needed to know about life. And no one, and I mean NO ONE could tell me different. I had just started my first year of middle school. I was in 7th grade. No longer the big kid on campus, you know the "upper class-man". I was now the small fish in what was soon to be a very, very big sea. My first day of school. Getting up two hours early even though you laid your brand new clothes out the night before. Taking a shower in the morning because a bath at night was now what little kids do. Making sure that your hair was just right and your backpack was full of school supplies that you would never use. All just to walk down the hall and realize that you left that damn sticker on the back of your jeans. Finally finding the office and getting handed that dreaded piece of paper..your schedule. Fuck. Who do you have first period? Second? Third? What the hell? We have zero classes together? I'm going home. This sucks. My life is ruined. Oh what? You have Mrs. Decarli Fourth period? Hell yeah!! Life that long ago was easy. Life as and adult is fuckin hardcore.Tough decisions as a child were made for you, as an adult you either make those decision or learn the hard way.
Fast forward halfway through the year. Sooooooo, there's this boy I kinda like. Let's be real. I'm full on obsessed. I know every fucking move this kid makes and I'm there for 87.2% of it all. If I could have stalked him the other 12.8% of the time I would have, it just wasn't physically possible. I sent notes..many, many notes. By the time that our 7th grade year was complete I had probably forced numerous people to put themselves in awkward positions just to possibly gain me the upper hand.
End of the year dance. My pay off had finally come ten fold. I was going to dance with this guy if it was the last thing I would do. I don't remember what was playing but I'm gonna bank on "I Swear" by All for One. Posted up on the wall like everyone else was, waiting for that one boy to come ask me to dance. My heart was racing a mile a minute. I know he knows I like him..right? Just come ask me..you know you want to. Then here he came. My heart dropped to the floor. The boy of my dreams is asking me..Angela Bragas to dance..SLOW DANCE. I don't know how to dance. Ummmmm..OK. It wasn't because I had an entourage of people ask him/ beg and plead with him to dance was it? No, it was because he wanted to...right? Either way, I don't care. We're dancing damn it. There we were. Finally. Touching. Then it happened. He said, " It's not me, it's my shirt". "huh?" " The smell, It's not me..It's my shirt". No idea what you're talking about and I don't care either. I'm in heaven. The boy I've been drooling over for months is dancing with me and I am on top of the world.
Eighth grade came and the feelings didn't fade. Being a cheerleader for his basketball team didn't help. Cheering him on came natural. I did that shit in my dreams. Every waking and non waking moment was spent dreaming about being with this boy. This boy that I really knew nothing about. He didn't talk to me. We didn't really have mutual friends and we had no classes together. What was it about him?
We took a much persuaded picture together outside of a hotel on a basketball tournament once. I treasured that picture for many years to come.
High School came and thousands of notes were forced and passed around. In 10th grade I finally came to what was terms with our non exist relationship. He just wasn't in to me. Most boys weren't growing up. They wanted to be my friend but they weren't interested in dating me.
Life happened and years went by without seeing or hearing from him.
Randomly I would run in to him at the bar from time to time and we would talk like we never even skipped a beat. Even though in school he paid me zero attention. I didn't mind. I still had love for him. Every time I saw him I just got that feeling, you know the one where you can't breathe, you have butterflies and everything you say out loud you wish you hadn't. There was just something about him.
Time passed and I thought about him often but to me I just figured that every time I thought about him he was probably never thinking about me.
Fast forward to 2009. Here I am with two kids, a failing relationship that I had invested 12 years of my life into, unhappy and wondering what I had done wrong and where I failed. The person that I had least expected to walk into my life was there. There to pick me up. There hold my hand and guide me through what would be one of the hardest times of my life. He listens, he understands, he loves me and he cares for me with a genuine heart and an open mind. He is the person I fell in love with all that time ago. The person that stole my heart all those years ago.
I believe that everyone out there has a soul mate. Whether or not you find yours...he or she is there. I found mine all those years ago. I couldn't be more blessed to say that that boy I fell in love so long ago with is now the father of our special little blue eyed baby boy. Life really can come full circle..but only if you allow it. It's never too late to find your true love.
xoxo
