Writing comes naturally to me...at times, I could definitely use the word 'easy' to describe it. I have a passion for poetry. All of my writings allow me to express my feelings in a way that otherwise might be difficult for me. When I put a pen to paper it just flows. I'm blessed with such a gift and that is why I share it....right here for all of you to read, pick apart, or do with what you will.
You know what's not easy? Relationships. Be it with friends, family, co-workers, boyfriends, husbands, even children. Relationships take so much fucking work. It's a constant give and take. I pull you this way, you pull me that way. And if you're lucky, we'll meet in the middle and all will be right in the world. Now when that doesn't happen, and shit doesn't line up than that's where shit really hits the fan.
I'm stubborn. There, I said it...in writing. I attribute that to being a very passionate person. I give with my heart and I fight with my heart. I know no other way. It's just who I am. Let's just say, I like to be right. Who doesn't? Being right is a good feeling. A high so to speak. It puts the entire conversation into perspective....my perspective.Unfortunately relationships just won't work if the other person is always trying to be right. Always trying to prove themselves. There has to be some give. Otherwise it's a losing battle. Plus, we could all use some defeat in our lives. I think it makes you grow as a person. You know, gives you something to learn from. Giving in never means losing when you are dealing with love...it's called compromise. Every relationship depends on it. I won't even begin to touch on the "L" word... That's a whole other blog in it's self.
Trust is a huge part in allowing a relationship to really sail it's course. Without trust you have nothing. Shit, I trust that the dressing room in Ross doesn't have cameras when I'm standing there in my panties trying on clothes. We all have some trust in people.
Respect. Respect is huge with me. Appreciate and understand all that I have given you, because no matter what it is, it's simply that... I've chosen to share something with you. I really do expect you to respect me unless I've given you a reason not to. What I don't expect is for you to agree. Which leads me back to enjoying being right. I'm always up for a good debate. I love passion in people. It's a beautiful attribute.
Honesty. Is really is the best policy. If you can't be honest with me than I sure as hell know that you are not honest with yourself. The truth is, and always will be a hard thing to swallow. Especially if you are not comfortable with you.
You are where it all begins. I'm learning this. I could give advice all day long. but if I don't work on myself than my words mean nothing. All of the things that we expect out of a relationship we must first square away with ourselves. When we come to terms with who we are, everything else starts to fall in place.
I'm no where near perfect. Neither are any of my relationships. Why? because like I said, they take work. Constant up keep. If you aren't learning from the people around you than you aren't paying attention. Life is a learning process and I'm enjoying every minute of it.
xoxo
Monday, May 7, 2012
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Ball of emotions
You all know the saying " don't judge me until you have walked a mile in my shoes". The older I get the truer this message rings. Here I am, 31 yrs old and I still can't seem to shake these fools.
The life that each and every one of us lives is because that is the path we choose. perhaps not consciously knowing but subconsciously we believe that is exactly where we are supposed to be.
My life at times seems like it is being played on loop by CNN. If I farted sideways someone, somewhere would be talking about it. Let's be real people, the life i live is actually pretty boring.
Don't get me wrong, I love the positive attention but the negative sure does take a toll on me.
It gets tiring trying to defend myself all the time. So from here on out, I won't. If you have a question, just ask. If you have a suggestion, let me know. If you want to run your mouth about me, run it. I can't and won't care anymore.
Now that that's off my chest.....
Giving. Oh how i love giving. Seriously, giving brings me happiness in my heart. Mostly I like giving away things, like clothes, toys, baby items, random shit that just takes up space. I hate clutter so that explains part of it. If you haven't used it in a year you probably won't use it..EVER. So in turn why not give it to someone who can. I take most of my "give away" items down to a local thrift store that the Rescue Mission operates. I've been doing it for years but just found out that the items they sell are horrifically over priced. I get having to keep a business a float but fuck! Really? All of the items in there were donated, IE: FREE! And as far as I'm concerned people who shop thrift stores do it so that they can score a deal or because they can't afford to shop at the retail stores. I'm ranting..anyways, where was I? Giving things away instead of charging for them really does make me feel good inside. It allows me to feel like I did something positive for someone who may have had to go without something else just to obtain the item that, like I said earlier, just takes up space. I give change to the person sitting outside of the grocery store, I have bought snacks for a couple with small children, I've even went as far as buying a doll for a little girl who was out by Target with her mom holding a sign. That shit breaks my heart. You know what? I'm a fuckin humanitarian!!< ------ If you don't know my humor by now than you have no right reading this blog. You and I, we just won't work.
In a way, I'm giving back. As a kid we received a lot of things free...clothes, bus passes, food, health care, dental. On numerous occasions we had all of our Christmas presents paid for, right down to the beautiful douglas fir that shined in our living room. Hahaha! I make poor sound pretty inviting don't I. Don't get me wrong, it sucked. For all the free shit that we got I can't imagine the emotional toll it took on my Mom. I know what it would do to me to feel like I personally couldn't provide for my family. So here I am today. I give and give because giving is a far better feeling that receiving will ever be for me. I'm no Humanitarian, but I sure do my part to contribute to those when I am able to.
PS. Save the hoarding for the weirdos on TV, give a bag of clothes or other things deemed useless to someone who can use it. You not only help out the next person, you are helping out yourself
xoxo
The life that each and every one of us lives is because that is the path we choose. perhaps not consciously knowing but subconsciously we believe that is exactly where we are supposed to be.
My life at times seems like it is being played on loop by CNN. If I farted sideways someone, somewhere would be talking about it. Let's be real people, the life i live is actually pretty boring.
Don't get me wrong, I love the positive attention but the negative sure does take a toll on me.
It gets tiring trying to defend myself all the time. So from here on out, I won't. If you have a question, just ask. If you have a suggestion, let me know. If you want to run your mouth about me, run it. I can't and won't care anymore.
Now that that's off my chest.....
Giving. Oh how i love giving. Seriously, giving brings me happiness in my heart. Mostly I like giving away things, like clothes, toys, baby items, random shit that just takes up space. I hate clutter so that explains part of it. If you haven't used it in a year you probably won't use it..EVER. So in turn why not give it to someone who can. I take most of my "give away" items down to a local thrift store that the Rescue Mission operates. I've been doing it for years but just found out that the items they sell are horrifically over priced. I get having to keep a business a float but fuck! Really? All of the items in there were donated, IE: FREE! And as far as I'm concerned people who shop thrift stores do it so that they can score a deal or because they can't afford to shop at the retail stores. I'm ranting..anyways, where was I? Giving things away instead of charging for them really does make me feel good inside. It allows me to feel like I did something positive for someone who may have had to go without something else just to obtain the item that, like I said earlier, just takes up space. I give change to the person sitting outside of the grocery store, I have bought snacks for a couple with small children, I've even went as far as buying a doll for a little girl who was out by Target with her mom holding a sign. That shit breaks my heart. You know what? I'm a fuckin humanitarian!!< ------ If you don't know my humor by now than you have no right reading this blog. You and I, we just won't work.
In a way, I'm giving back. As a kid we received a lot of things free...clothes, bus passes, food, health care, dental. On numerous occasions we had all of our Christmas presents paid for, right down to the beautiful douglas fir that shined in our living room. Hahaha! I make poor sound pretty inviting don't I. Don't get me wrong, it sucked. For all the free shit that we got I can't imagine the emotional toll it took on my Mom. I know what it would do to me to feel like I personally couldn't provide for my family. So here I am today. I give and give because giving is a far better feeling that receiving will ever be for me. I'm no Humanitarian, but I sure do my part to contribute to those when I am able to.
PS. Save the hoarding for the weirdos on TV, give a bag of clothes or other things deemed useless to someone who can use it. You not only help out the next person, you are helping out yourself
xoxo
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