Life as I know it

Kid's are expensive.

Very. Very. Expensive. 

I thought babies were costly, shit, my pre-teen is going to run me dry. 

" I need this", "I have to have" that, "but Mom, it's only twenty bucks". 

It seems like every three weeks I'm buying new shoes. My oldest wears Vans now so that's fifty bucks at least once a month. I guess me not wanting to buy the boys cheap-funky mickey mouse spider man shoes as toddlers is biting me in the ass now.

 I figured since I didn't have girls I was going to save a couple of bucks. 

FUCK.NO.
I should have really took advantage of the days where i could buy them what was on sale and really stocked up. Those days are long gone. Shit, even the two year old has a say so over what shoes he wears for the day. 

I'm still attempting to come to terms with the fact that I have an eleven, seven and almost two year old. I just recently turned 25 so I guess I shouldn't feel too bad ;)

Haahahaha! 25. I wish.

 32 is great, don't get me wrong. I feel amazing and I'm in the best shape physically and mentally than I have been in at least 15 years. Going to the gym three days a week definitely helps.Having someone supportive at home is a huge plus.......Thanks babe.
 I don't eat as well as I probably should, but carbs are my weakness.

 So is beer.

 I've come to the conclusion that if I was ever faced with the dilemma of having to give up one or the other, I would most definitely choose bread. I would for sure give up that yummy soft deliciousness we call heaven for a lifetime with Steelhead.

 Hey, I'm no alcoholic but I sure do know how to pick my battles.

In all seriousness, I really do hope the boys know that I have done everything I can do to ensure that they have everything they need and want. I would give them my last ten dollars if it meant they could go to the movies with their friends. Maybe I'm not teaching them the proper lessons in your eyes, but in my mine i am doing what is right.

 Life is tough enough to not have to worry about what shoes you are wearing or what brand your shirt is.

 Is your hat a flat bill or curved? Do you have the right socks on for basketball or the right undershirt for baseball?? Sure, life is not a fashion show or a popularity contest but try telling that to a child. 

I do what I can for them and I will continue to just to ensure that the small shit does not become an issue. They have bigger problems than clothes and shoes. 

It's called puberty. And good luck with all that...I have no control when it comes to the human body.

One thing I do have control over though is myself. .

As I get older I have started to realize that happiness is not going to fall into my lap. 

Every day is a new start to a new you. 

Don't ever let your past hold you down or prohibit you from becoming the person you want to be. 

If you want something, go for it.

 If you truly want it bad enough you will eventually attain it. 

Sure, those all sound like cliches but in all reality they are some of the truest statements I have ever spoken to myself. 

I believe in me and I am confident that anything I put my mind to I can accomplish. 

Self doubt is not an option. 

It doesn't take a "strong"  person to make it through this life, it takes determination, tenacity and perseverance.

Life is going to hand you struggles, heartache and pain but at the same time it will also bless you with happiness and more love than you can handle at times.
I recently read " Identify. Purpose. Direction. Peace." These words profoundly spoke to me. Life truly is a circle. Maybe not just one, but many. I'm definitely on my second loop. I can only hope I have many more to circum. 

Until next time. 

xoxo